We used to call my son Tyler, the Master of Disaster. I am the Master of Disaster's Mother....
Here's the dream: you're at a meeting, a monthly gathering if you will, of like minded people. You are gathered with women whose talents you admire and friends with whom you love spending time. You're with two of your very dear friends and because the three of you all love McDonald's iced tea, you take turns stopping and buying for everyone. It's a once a month treat, well worth the caloric intake! Women come to this gathering to share, to be inspired and to show off (but not in a braggy way), their beautiful works of art. Art in the form of counted thread embroidery - oh, let's just say it, cross stitch! Samplers, beautiful samplers! In this dream (it hasn't turned into a nightmare yet), one of your friends, DEB lays her beautiful Yellow House Sampler on the table for all to admire. She's not at home, there's no fear of children wreaking havoc with her beautiful sampler; after all, only a child would dare spill something on a beautiful piece of needlework, right? You see where this is going, don't you? Yep, it was me.... I knocked over a glass full of ice and tea. Can you hear the gasps from ours AND all the other tables? Oh my God!!! It's a living nightmare! Oh my God! Hours and hours of work and I spill something on it. Can you imagine my horror? This is FAR WORSE than someone touching your needlework - to SPILL something on it. Are you KIDDING me??? Well, let me tell you - that Deb could not have been sweeter, or calmer. As we're all starting to scramble, she says, very calmly (through what should have been gritted teeth), "It's only tea." Only tea? She says, "If it stains, It'll just look old." My first thought was, "Oh Crap! Please don't tell me you used overdyed threads." "Nope, this one is stitched with DMC." Still, cool as can be, Deb is sitting there. I'm sure it's really because she was so stunned, she couldn't move :-) but we eventually got up (Julie, Deb and me), after totally disrupting the entire meeting, we ran into the kitchen area and washed it out. I was mortified; as you can all imagine. The KSSG (Kindred Spirits Sampler Guild) will never be the same. I am probably going to have to sit by myself, in a corner from now on. I deserve that - plus a dunce cap - I deserve to sit in a corner with a dunce cap on my head. A big one.... After a bit of washing, here's Deb's sampler, not too much worse for wear. All you can see of Deb is her skinny, little body - isn't her sampler gorgeous!!!
I won't go into the actual nightmare I had the next night about this except to say, when the women saw what I had done - which is blasphemy to a stitcher - they started shouting, "Stone her, Stone her!" I had to call Deb that morning to make sure she really was still speaking to me. She took my call, and she's very forgiving but, I'll understand if at the next meeting she sits somewhere else.....
This alone, would be enough to absolutely mortify most people. But not me. Nope, the day wasn't over yet. During our guild meetings we always have a raffle of some item or items that are donated. The raffle is just one way to raise money for our guild. Well this time, the drawing was for a Vera Bradley bag (a really pretty one), with three mesh accessory bags and a beautiful bird thread pallet to go with it made by Pat's DH. Of course I bought tickets. We all did. Finally, the time had come for the drawing. "The winning number is 6679." Drat, so close, my last ticket number was 6678. Shucks. Everyone checks their tickets, nobody has the winning ticket. "Is there anyone in the bathroom?" Sure enough, here come two of our guild members. "Do either of you have ticket number 6679? "Nope." "Hmmmmm.... has anyone left the meeting?" Everyone is buzzing, nobody can figure it out, and of course, I say, "Oh well.... better re-draw." Still nobody claims the prize and after some mumbling about, Julie says "Let me see your tickets." "You Won, you big dummy!" she says to me (maybe not those words exactly). What? Oh my gosh. If I hadn't embarrassed myself enough with the tea incident I certainly am by now. Who heard of numbers going down in sequence? My last ticket was 6678, and I just glanced at the last ticket and ASSUMED (you know what they say about that ~ and I just proved it as fact) they went UP in sequence, not DOWN. I know what you're thinking, "How in the world does she EVER get through a day? How does she get ANYTHING done? " Believe me, I ask myself the same things several times a day. I am here for the worlds amusement. That's why I'm here. Are you amused?
Here's what I won:
Isn't it great!? Well worth my embarrassment. Pat made the mesh bags to go with the bag and she used a pair of Vera Bradley boxer shorts for the fabric trim. She also covered a little pencil in fabric that is clipped to the bag but I'm not sure you can see that in the picture. Yep, as embarrassed as I was, I wasn't too ashamed to claim my prize.
So.... how's your week going?
Thank you all so very much for all the comments on Elizabeth Savilles. It is so exciting to see comments on a post - and I can't believe that so many of you took the time. THANK YOU so much!!! I can't wait to get her back from the framer (that's another story)- I hope I picked something that will do her justice. We'll see.
I've passed my one year anniversary for blogging and am so happy to have gotten to know so many wonderful people. I will be having a giveaway to celebrate, but I still have to get it together. You'll be the first to know!